The Lion and the Lamb
by mao332
Summary: Bella's parents leave her at a boarding school to try and "fix" their troubled teen. While there she meets the mysterious Edward. Can he help her overcome her past? Will Bella find out what he really is? rated M for mature themes
1. Chapter 1

_Sixty seven, sixty eight, sixty nine. Sixty nine books on troubled teens, and still he knows nothing_. I rolled my eyes. I had been sitting in this room, stuck between both parents, for exactly the past 73 minutes. I had counted every pencil (13) every square tile (546) and every time Mr. Galaspi said, "You're going to love it here" (15). I already hated it here and had at least another 217 days left; and that was if I was lucky enough to go home for the summer. God, this must be bad when going home is considered lucky.

"Bella?" I snapped into reality. Everyone was standing around me waiting for my next move. I grunted in acknowledgment. I may have no choice to be here, but I certainly had the choice to participate nicely, or not so nicely as the case may be.

"Are you ready for the grand tour?" Mr. Galaspi asked. I stared in response.

"Isabella!" my mother nudged me in the ribs.

"Ow!" I rubbed my side dramatically, so everyone knew the kind of abuse I had to endure.

"No worries, Renee," he smiled. "I'm sure you'll notice how much Isabella's going to love it here in no time". _16. _I rolled my eyes again.

Last stop was my dorm room. Wonderful. Sharing a room.

"I love you, Isabella." Renee engulfed me in a hug. "Your dad and I are going to miss you so much." I shrugged out of her embrace.

"Take me with you if you're going to miss me so much."

"You know we can't honey. This is the best place for you right now. You'll see, you're going to love it here."

"Ah! Just leave already!" I seriously was going to have a melt down if i heard 'you're going to love it here' one more time.

My mom gave me a sympathetic look. Like she could ever understand. Like she had ever been abandoned.

My father put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

"I know you're strong, bells, you just need an environment that will push you to your full potential." my eyes were about to roll out of my head any minute now. I took a deep breath, walked to the door and held it open. When they didn't budge I lifted my eyebrows towards them.

"Don't you have a flight to catch?" and with that they were gone. Out of my life forever. Well at least right now it seemed forever. I should probably look on the bright side; I never really liked them anyways.

I was suddenly exhausted. I had no idea what bed to choose. All four were the same. Twin bunks, ugly muted green blankets. I chose the closest bed and fell face first into a deep sleep.

***

"Eh hem." I stirred in my sleep.

"Excuse me, but you're sleeping on my bed," I finally opened my eyes.

"Huh?"

"I said, 'you're sleeping in my bed!'" I starred up at the girl glaring down at me.

"Oh," I swung my legs over the bed. "Sorry."

"Ugh," she stomped out of the room mumbling something that sounded like 'disrespectful bitch' under her breath. This was no way to start out.

"Don't mind her, she's always grumpy right before dinner," I looked up to see a tall pretty girl with dark hair and glasses. "I'm Angela, you must be our new roommate Isabella." She extended her hand.

"Bella actually," I shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you. I guess I didn't make a great first impression huh?"

"Don't worry about Jessica. She thinks it's her job to be rude to everyone. She'll come around, probably after she eats." Angela laughed at her joke, and I smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I had expected. Then again, who was I kidding?

"I was just about to head down to the dining hall, do you want to join me?" I contemplated telling her no thank you, and that I was still tired, but I decided to at least attempt to act normal.

"Sure," I smiled.

"Good! But you'll have to change. We have to be in uniform outside of the dorms." Angela made a face indicating she disliked this rule as much as I did. I grabbed a uniform from my suitcase.

"Give me one sec!" I turned to head towards the bathroom, then paused to look around.

"If you're looking for the bathroom, it's down the hall. The whole floor shares one." Horror struck my face. I had forgotten, shared bathrooms. It kept getting worse.

Angela smiled at me. "You get use to it, it's not nearly as bad as it sounds."

"If you say so," I quickly stripped out of my jeans and hoodie and put on the blue plaid skirt and white button up shirt. Angela snickered.

"What? I can't possiably look worse than anyone else." I frowned smoothing out my top.

"It's not that," she was practically crying trying to hold back her laughter now. "You're wearing a hot pink bra!" I looked in the mirror. I laughed with her too, I did look ridiculous. I grabbed a matching blue cardigan and we were on our way.

***

The dining hall was huge. Actually huge would be an understatement. There had to be at least four dozen large round tables, each table sitting at least twelve. That was 576 seats. Last I had checked the school only held 324 students and 35 faculty.

"This place is huge," I whispered to Angela.

"It better be nice for six grand a month!" she declared.

"Oh, ya. i forgot how much it cost to ship your kid of for the year," I sighed.

"Oh, I never asked, why are you here? The higher education?"

I shrugged. "Something like that." She seemed to sense I didn't want to talk about it.

"That's all you're eating?" Angela starred at my bowl of mixed fruit.

"Um, ya. I had a big lunch. Kinda a farewell to-do thing. I'm still full from that."

"Oh, that makes sense," she said, already losing focus as she searched across the sea of heads. "ah, they're over there." She nodded her head in the direction to walk since both her hands were busy juggling a tray of food.

I groaned when i saw we were sitting with Jessica, and about eight other people I didn't know. So much for staying under the radar here.

"Bella, you remember Jess, and then there's Taylor, Mike, Rebbecca..." I nodded and smiled to each of them as she said their names. I had already forgotten them though.

"Hey Bella! Sit here," The boy named Mike pulled out a chair for me. I smiled and thanked him. "That's all you're eating?"

Angela chimed in, "She had a huge lunch, sort of a farewell and good-bye before she got here!"

"Lucky, I've been eating the same old boring dining hall food for almost 2 months now" Mike complained.

I tried to just concentrate on my food. Counting the bites it took to eat a melon piece, trying not to call attention to myself. No one really seemed to care that i wasn't participating in the conversations, maybe they just thought i was shy.

"Bella, are you going to come with us?" Angela asked.

"Ya, you can sit by me!" Mike was overly enthused, I rolled my eyes to myself.

"Where are we going?"

"Movie night, every Sunday they play a movie in the student center." Mike didn't seemed phased that I didn't seem to have a clue what was going on. I noticed Jessica glance towards me, probably annoyed by the attention Mike was giving me.

"Oh, I think I'll probably just go back to my dorm, I'm still kind of tired from the drive today," I looked over to Angela. "That's okay right? The Movie isn't mandatory is it?"

"Nope, most of us go, but it's not required. Do you want me to walk back to the dorms with you?"

"No, I'll be okay, enjoy the movie!" I quickly got up, glad to have a reason to get out of there. As i was walking out of the dining hall I had the feeling that someone was watching me leave. I looked over my shoulder towards Angela and her friends, but they were already gone. I quickly glanced around the rest of the room but everyone was engrossed in their own conversations. I tried to shrug it off, but i still quickened my pace, a shiver running down my spine as I left the room.

***

Back in my dorm, I pulled out a folder and sat on, what I was now sure of, my bed. Inside the folder were old blue prints of the school. A friend of a friend's brother had once gone here and had somehow managed to hack into the computer systems finding old blue prints of the school before it was rebuilt.

I jumped when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the display.

"Jamie!" I practically shouted into the phone.

"Bella! I didn't think you would answer! They let you have phones in Hell?" My best friend laughed, God it was good to hear her voice.

"Surprisingly. Something about us being 'mature responsible young adults'" I mimicked Mr. Galaspi voice and Jamie laughed.

"I miss you so much Bella! Come home now! Have you planned your escape yet?"

I laughed, "I was actually just looking at Brad's blue prints. These things are friggin' hard to read!"

"Aw! well figure it out soon! I need you back here!"

"Ugh, I need me back here too!"

"So how miserable are the people there? All stuck up and bitchy?"

"Pretty much," I replied. "I've only met two roommates so far, one, her name is Jessica, she's a terror. the other, Angela, she actually seems nice, or at least sincere.

"Aw, Bella, I got to go. My mom's downstairs yelling at me to hurry up. Call me soon though okay? It's just not the same without you."

"I will I promise. Bye James."

"Bye Bella."

I sighed. Life here was definitely going to suck. I slid the blue prints back into my folder, slipped the folder inside my suitcase, and pulled the blankets over my head; dreaming of the day I would be far away from here.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone!, i'm so glad people already added this story to their favorites! it makes me all giddy lol. this is my first attempt at a fanfiction, so any constructive critisizim would be great :-)

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Someone elses alarm went off at precisely 5:45 am. One more thing to add to the list of hates here. I rolled out of bed, eyes only half opened, and groped under the bed until I found my shower Caty. I showered quickly, not bothering to blow dry my hair, and made sure I had a white bra on this time. I didn't bother with make-up, only threw on some cake flavored lip gloss. Probably one of the best things ever invented. I headed back to my dorm to grab a coat and my backpack.

"Want to walk to campus together?" Angela sure was perky in the morning.

"Sure," I smiled, hoping I didn't sound too grumpy.

Campus was past the quad and consisted of two buildings, one of which was the dining hall. According to the blue prints, at least from what I could read, there use to be three buildings, but in 1982 they bulldozed them down and built one large one. It looked like they never cemented in the second basement though, at least that's what I was hoping for.

Angela gladly kept up the one sided conversation, asking what teachers I had, then going into detail about what I should know about them. I added the appropriate "uh huh"' and "really?" when she paused, hoping I didn't seem to distant.

Morning classes dragged by. Mike was in two of my four morning classes and decided to be my personal night and shining armour; blessing me when I sneezed, carrying my books, and walking me to every class. He even offered to wait out side the ladies room on our way to lunch, but I managed to convince him to save me a seat instead. He happily obliged as he practically ran to the dining room smiling ear to ear. I sat on the toilet seat and pulled out the blue prints. It looked like down the hall was a door to a room, probably a closet, or maybe boiler room, that had stairs heading to the basement. I rolled up the blue prints and stuck them into my backpack.

I walked out the bathroom, attempting to look like I knew where I was going, silently humming the James Bond theme song. I found the door I was looking for, and with a quick glance around to make sure no one was looking, I slipped behind the door. I was quickly surrounded by darkness, I fumbled in my bag, and pulled out a lighter, cursing myself for not thinking to bring a flashlight. It looked like the room was being used for storage. Paint cans lined the walls, tons of boxes with paper sticking out were cover in dust. I sneezed and my light went out. Sighing I flicked my lighter on again, and made my way to the back of the room. I had to switch hands three times because the flame kept burning my thumb. At the end of the room the shelves turned to the right, making a hallway to the other side of the room. There, at the end of the hall was the door. I slowly walked over to it, I was beginning to get that feeling in your back when someone is watching you, and I shuddered. _No turning back now Bella, be brave. _I expected the door door to be locked, almost wishing it was so could have an excuseto turn and leave, but the door knob turned easily. With only a slight push the door opened to revealing a stone staircase into the basement. I gulped. I needed to go down here though, if even for a place to hideout in my months of torture. I took a deep breath and headed down the stairs, the door slammed closed behind me, and I practically flew the rest of the way down.

Holding the lighter above my head I tried to find a light. About two feet in front of me hung a string with a lightbuld attatched. I prayed, hoping the light wasn't burnt out. For once God seemed to be listening. It wasn't much light, but enough to cast an eerie glow throughout the basement.

"Hello," I did three things when I heard that velvet voice in front of me; I screamed, fell to the floor, and then took the tornado drill cover, with my head tucked between my knees and my hands behind my neck.

The voice chuckled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you saw me when you turned on the light." I only lifted my head slightly, just enough to assess whether the voice speaking to me was some sort of basement dwelling monster or not. Instead I was looking up at the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He was sitting at a card table, a deck of cards laid out in front of him, solitaire perhaps. He had the whitest skin, and his golden eyes sparkled in the dim light. He stood.

"Are you okay? Should I get the nurse?" I shook my head, not yet ready to stand, I sat with my legs tucked under me.

"No, I'm okay, I think I just need a minute," I tried to take deep breaths, I was pretty sure my heart was going to beat out of my chest any minute. "What are you doing down here?"

He laughed again, "I think I should be asking you the same thing, but I come here to get away from everyone. It's nice and quiet, no one here to bother me." He smiled, "Well, at least not, until to today. So what are you doing down here?"

"Same thing I guess," I was mesmerised by his eyes. "How could you see the cards?" He gave me a puzzled look.

"The cards in front of you. How could you see them in the dark?" For a split second I thought I saw a hint of frustration, or maybe it was anger, flash in his eyes.

"I had the light on, but when I heard you coming I turned it off. I thought maybe you were the janitor."

"Oh," that made sense, I don't know why I was thinking he was playing cards in the dark. That's not a logical thought, my mind was probably still thinking up nightmarish scenarios.

"You're new here aren't you? Bella isn't it?"

I was finally able to stand, but only while holding onto the wall next to me. "Um, ya. How did you know my name?"

"Good news travels fast, would you like to join me?" His arm grazed across the table.

"Um..."

He smiled again, flashing a brilliant set of white teeth. Unexpectedly I shivered again. I had this overwhelming sense that I should be running as fast as I could out of there, but something stopped me. Maybe I wanted to live dangerously. Though I had no idea why sitting next to him should be considered dangerous.

"Please," he said, while standing up and unfolding another chair for me to sit in.

"Sure, if you're sure. I don't want to interrupt..." I was beginning to trip over my words.

He laughed again, "I don't mind, really. Have a seat." I slowly walked to the table and chairs, still uncertain how my legs would carry me.

"I'm sorry again for scaring you, it was unintentional." His eyes seemed so sincere.

"It's okay. Everything scares me, I over reacted anyways. You're really not that scary." He seemed to hold back a laugh.

"Ya, not scary at all," he gave a half smile, I thought I was going to faint. "So you're new, huh?'

"Ya, I got here yesterday, today's my first day of classes."

He seemed to ponder this. "If today is your first day, how did you know how to get here?"

"Um, I have my ways." I wasn't quite ready to divulge my contacts yet. He considered this.

"Do you like it here?"

"Um," how did I tell him that this was my personal hell on earth? "not really, I was kind of forced here against my will." His eyes were focused on me, he almost seemed confused. I didn't understand what was so confusing about my answer so I kept babbling. "My parents didn't want to deal with me, they thought I was a 'troubled teen'. My mother, Renee, she'd rather send me off to be someone else's problem. She thought I made our family look bad. It's all about images with her."

"So you're a troubled teen?" He smiled at this, I couldn't help but smile back.

"I guess, but I mean, who isn't troubled'?" I stared at my hands in thought, "but maybe I'm more troubled than others, who knows."

"What makes your parents think you're so troubled?" His golden eyes stared into mine, I didn't understand why he seemed to care so much about my pathetic life.

"I don't know... A lot of things I guess. Drugs mostly." Why was I telling him all of this?

"Like weed?"

"Uh, no, I never tried that."

"But isn't that considered the 'gateway drug'?"

"Ya, but I hate smoking, anything." I made a disgusted face. "So I never tried it."

"Then what did you use?"

"Nothing.. a lot... I liked pills mostly, ecstasy."

"So you like to go to clubs?" He seemed so desperate to understand.

"No, I hate clubs, any place that's crowded." Why couldn't I shut up already? "I just took it to make me feel happy."

"You're unhappy?"

I pondered this. "No, not really."

"I don't understand," he face had confusion written all over it.

"Have you ever felt, just, there. Like not happy, or unhappy, you just feel nothing at all? Like you're going through life with a cloud around your head?"

He nodded, "More than you know," he said it so softly, I wasn't sure I even heard him correctly.

"Well that's how I feel, all the time. X just makes me feel _something_, anything." his eyes held empathy. "anyways..." I tried to think of a way to change the subject. He seemed to sense I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Want to play cards?"

I shook my head, "I should probably head back." He nodded. "You wouldn't happen to have a flashlight would you?"

He laughed, I didn't understand why my questions kept making him laugh. "No, I'm sorry"

"Okay, then. Um maybe I'll see you around?" Doubtful, he probably thought I was the biggest freak ever.

"Tomorrow, same time?" I couldn't stop the smile forming on my face, he wanted to see me again.

"Ya, sure. See you tomorrow." I quickly turned and went up the stairs before he could change his mind. I didn't understand why I wanted to see him again. Come to think of it, I didn't even know anything about him. He probably didn't even go here, maybe he was homeless and hid out in the basement? Another shiver travelled down my spine before I opened the door into the school. As excited as I was to eehim again tomorrow, another, even larger part, was telling me I should stay away.

***

My next class was history. World history to be specific. My least favorite of all my classes. I got into the class as soon as the bell rang, my face turning red as a stood in front of the whole class. I kept my head down, my hair falling over my face as a approached the teacher's desk.

"You must be Isabella Swan, you can have a seat at the table over there," He pointed to the back corner, to the only empty seat, right next to my homeless mystery, basement dwelling, gorgeous monster. I walked over to my new seat, my legs shaking. Why was a so nervous?

"We meet again," he smiled at me, I stumbled trying to get into my seat, why wouldn't my body corroperate with me? "I never introduced myself earlier, I'm Edward Cullen." I smiled at him. Class started and tried to focus on what the teacher was talking about, but it was increasinly difficult to take notes, as the class went on, my hands shook more and more. The few times a glanced towards him, he was starring at me, each time a shiver ran down my spine.

The class seemed to last impossiably long. When the bell finally rang I was ready to run out of there, but Edward Cullen spoke before I could,

"Where's your next class?"

"Third floor, advance calculus."

"Calculus huh? You're good at math." he said it more as a statement than a question.

"I like numbers, they're consistant, always the same. One plus one is always two. I like things I can count on in life."

"No pun intended," and he flashed his brilliant smile again. "Mind if I walk with you to class?" How could I say no to that smile?

"Sure," I reached for my back pack that was hanging on the back of my chair, but it was gone before my hand even came close to touching it. I starred at my, now emtpy, chair.

"Are you ready?" I looked up at Edward, my backpack slung over his shoulder.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?" his smile grew even larger, his eyes twinkled with humor?

"Get my backpack so fast?"

"I didn't, Bella, you must just be slow," and with that he began walking out the door, I practically had to sprint to catch up to him.

We got to my classroom in record time. He handed me my backpack.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Good, I'll see you tomorrow then. Have fun talking to Jessica!" and before I could ask him what he ment he was gone.

I turned to see Jessica, eyes boring through me.

"Bella, over here, I saved you a seat." she waved to me, then motioned for a seat next to her. I groaned internally.

"So Edward Cullen, huh? I can't believe he was talking to you!" _gee thanks bitch, _I thought.

"Yep," I gave her a look that said, hurry up and spit it out.

"Well, I just mean, he never talks to anyone, except his sister and her boyfriend."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say to her.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Nothing really, he just asked how I liked it here." Thankfully the bell rang, and she couldn't ask anymore questions.

When class was over I made an excuse to Jessica about being confused about a problem and wanting to stick around to ask the teacher. She seemed disapointed, but thankfully didn't wait for me. When I was sure she was gone I went straight the the dorms, threw on some sweats, and curled up in bad, IPod blarring in my ears, trying to drain out my thoughts. Hopefully no one would wake me when they came in.

* * *

did some changes to chapter 2. I kind of felt the original held a lot of questions. Hopefully this version is better!


	3. Chapter 3

sorry it took me so long to update! life got in the way. hope you guys like this chapter- i know i'm moving slow, but i want there to be more than 5 chapters, you know?

the song bella and edward are dancing to is "stars go blue" the haley and chris version from one tree hill.

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"Bella?" I felt a hand shake me.

"Hmm...." I tried to pull the blankets over my head.

"Bella, it's time for dinner." I sat up quickly, a little too quickly; the room started to spin.

"Ugh, dinner? What time is it?"

"Six, you've been sleeping since I got back from campus, but I didn't want to wake you then. I figured I should now, in case you were hungry." Angela smiled at me. I was really beginning to like her.

"Um, thanks, I think I may just grab something and head to the library. I feel so far behind in all of my classes," I frowned thinking about the history test I had in a week.

"Okay, I'll see you later!" and with that she was gone. My thoughts went straight to the mysterious Edward. I couldn't figure out why I was so focused on him. I shook my head, trying to throw out all thoughts of him. I grabbed my backpack and cardigan and began my trek across campus. Once in the library I made my way to the furthest corner and and opened my history book. I diligently took notes for two hours, until my fingers began to cramp, and i could barely keep my eyes open. When I stepped outside the cold air hit me like a brick. It was already dark outside; I wished I had left a little earlier so it would be easier to see.

"Hey," of course I jumped when I heard his smooth voice, but at least this time I didn't cower in fear.

"Are you stalking me now?" I gave Edward a smile.

"I believe you are the one that keeps showing up where _I_ am," he smiled back and the moonlight reflected off his perfectly white teeth. I shuddered. "Were you planning on walking back to the dorms alone?" for some reason this seemed to concern him.

"Ya, is that a problem?"

"You shouldn't walk alone at night, you could get hurt."

"I don't think there really is anything to worry about."

"It's not safe at night, there are... people... that are... evil, bad. I'll walk you back."

"I think you're paranoid, the whole campus is surrounded by an eight foot gate, I doubt I have anything to worry about."

"Some people aren't deterred by a fence."

"Is there something I don't know about this area? Gang members, serial killers?"

"Something like that. Want me to carry your stuff?" he extended his hand.

"No thank you. You know, I'm really not as pathetic as I must look. I can take care of myself."

He looked hurt. "I don't think you're pathetic."

"Hm, could've fooled me," I decided to drop it though, "Well, are you going to walk me back, or are we just going to stand here?" He didn't respond, just nodded his head and began to walk. Again I had to sprint to catch up to him. We walked in silence back to the dorms.

"I'm sorry I upset you," he stood so close to me, looking down into my eyes. Those eyes...of course I couldn't stay mad at him.

"It's fine," I tried to inch closer to him, stood on my tip toes.

"So you're not mad?" his head moved closer to mine.

I closed my eyes, "No," I barely whispered. I stood, waiting.

And waiting.

I opened my eyes; I was alone. What the hell had just happened? Was I going crazy?

"Ugh!" I threw open the door and stomped up the stairs to my room.

"Are you okay?!" Angela looked up from the book she was reading.

"No! I am certainly not okay! I absolutely can not stand Edward Cullen! Ugh!" I threw my arms up in disgust and plopped onto my bed.

Angela sat up in bed, clearly interested, "Why," she breathed. "What happened?"

"I don't know really," I sighed in frustration. "I mean, I thought, oh, I'm so stupid! I thought he wanted to kiss me! I made a total fool out of myself!"

"Oh, Bella! What happened?" She got out of bed and put her arm around me.

"I don't know, he walked me back from the library, and I thought he was going to kiss me, and then he was gone, I don't even know why I _wanted_ him to kiss me, it was like I got swept up in the moment, not there even was a moment, obviously..." I was babbling now.

"Bella, don't think twice about him, he's so weird! And obviously a jerk!"

"Ya, I guess so," I frowned, frustrated with how the night had turned out, frustrated with myself for being so blind. "I think I'm going to go take a shower, thanks for letting me vent, you're a good friend."

"Any time," She gave me a squeeze. I grabbed my stuff and went to take a long hot shower. I tried to make sense of my jumbled thoughts, but I was too upset. One thing was for sure, I was no longer going to speak to Edward. I wasn't going to made a fool, no matter whose fault it was.

I dried myself off, and put on my comfiest pajamas, determined to wake up in the morning a refreshed woman.

***

I walked to breakfast with Angela and Jessica, and sat with all of their friends. I kept my eyes focused on only the table I was sitting at. I didn't want to risk seeing him, otherwise I was sure I would crumble. I let Mike walk me to all of my classes, and even joined everyone for lunch, though I didn't eat anything because my stomach wouldn't stop doing flip-flops. There was no way to avoid him in my next class, and as the minutes ticked by, the sicker I began to feel.

"Bella," Angela nudged me. I looked at her and she motioned her head in front of me. There stood Edward. My stomach sank.

"I was wondering if it would be alright to talk to you for a minute?" Next to me Jessica's fork clattered to the floor.

"Sure," I picked up my tray and walked away from him, towards the trash.

"You didn't eat,"

"No. I didn't." I didn't feel like explaining why to him.

"I waited for you to meet me for lunch..." he trailed off. I didn't bother to respond, I didn't think my voice would stay steady.

"I can understand though. I wanted to apologize about last night. I was rude, I shouldn't have left you like that." His eyes held sincerity, he searched deep into mine, trying to read me. I just nodded my head in response, still unsure of my voice. He continued to speak; "It's just that, I've never felt this way about anyone before. And it's better if I don't... we don't... it's very complicated."

"I don't see what is so complicated," My face was burning.

"It's just better if we're friends, that's all."

"Okay," Every time we talked, I always got more confused.

"So you forgive me?" His golden eyes began to smile, and against my will, I smile back.

"Sure," I was already questioning how I would manage to be 'just friends' with him. My whole body came alive when he was around.

"Can you promise me something though?"

"Maybe, what is it?" uh oh.... here it comes...

"Don't walk alone at night. It's really not safe, I don't know what I would do if something happened to you," his hand reached up and carefully, meticulously tucked my hair behind my ear, not even touching my face. I was prepared to say no, to tell him he was crazy, but something in his eyes changed my mind. He was really worried.

"What are you so scared of?"

"It's not safe for you, to be out alone,"

"But it's safe for other people?

He seemed taken back by my question, not sure how to respond, unfortunately, that's when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. He took the oppertunity to change the subject.

"Are you excite for the field trip tomorrow?"

"What field trip?"

"For history, the museum,"

"Oh, I didn't know about it," I tried to think back to yesterday's histroy class, but I couldn't remember anything about it. "I guess it will be nice to leave school, but I hate history, so that part kind of sucks." We sat in our seats just as the second bell rang.

My mind wandered all through class. I was desperate for answers; why couldn't we be more? Why did I even want us to be more? I was never the relationship type, there never seemed to be a point. I was only turning seventeen. I had my whole life ahead of me, relationships were a waste of ime at this age; they never lasted. And why was I no longer allowed to go outside alone at night? It made no sense. There was something about him; I kept getting pulled in, but at the same time, I always had a feeling that I should be running away. Everything about him filled me with questions, something about him wasn't right. It made no sense for me to think this, but I needed answers, even if I didn't know the right questions to ask.

I was absently mindedly twirling my pencil in my fingers when the bell rang. The pencil fell to the ground, I reached to pick it up, not really looking, when my hand touched something ice cold. I gasped and looked down. Right where my hand had been, was Edwards hand, holding my pencil. I looked into his eyes,

"Your hand... it's so cold." I stared into his eyes, searching for answers. He put the pencil on my desk.

"Poor circulation," his voice was calm and steady.

"Nobody has that poor of circulation, unless they are dead," his eyes flickered, but he laughed. I furrowed my brows at him. _Unless they are dead_ the words rang through my ears again. I shivered.

"See, Bella, it is cold in here, you are shaking."

"Ya, I guess it is." I slowly grabbed my backpack and headed to the door. He followed behind. "There's something about you..." my voice trailed off, I wasn't sure what to say, it seemed rude to tell him he didn't seem normal. He didn't respond. I let it go.

"Are you planning to go to the library again tonight?" he asked.

"I don't know, I probably will just go to bed early, I didn't sleep well last night." I gave him a look so he knew it was because of him.

"I'm sorry, will you let me know if you do, so I can walk you back to your dorm?"

I sighed, "I really don't need a baby sitter Edward."

"I know you don't, it would just make me feel better if you let me. Here," he handed me a peice of paper. "My cell phone number, just in case you change your mind. Remember, you promised."

"Okay, I'll call if I go, but I doubt I will." I stood in front of my classroom door now, really not wanting my conversation to have to end with him.

"Okay. Have a nice evening," he started to leave, but turned back. "Please be careful Bella." and with that he was gone.

***

That night, alone, in my dorm I tried to put together everything I knew. Which honestly wasn't much. The only thing telling me that something wasn't right was my gut, which really wasn't much to go on. I listed the things that seemed off, the way he always seemed to turn up where I was, how he was just sitting alone in the dark when I first met him. The way he was able to grab my back pack so fast yesterday. The way he seemed to think my life was in danger. Which was ridiculous. The only person who had a threat on my life was myself. And his cold skin. Not just cold- ice. He had perfectly reasonable explanations for all of this, my biggest question was why I didn't believe him. I sighed. The only conclusion I came to was this: it didn't matter. Whatever he was hiding, it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to be with him. Which also was ridiculous. I needed a distraction. I turned on my CD player, and put in a mixed CD, hitting the forward button until I came to the song I was looking for. I closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else, far away from here, I wrapped my arms around my invisable dance partner and began to dance.

"May I cut in?" this time I wasn't surprised to hear his voice, I didn't bother to ask him how he got in here, or why he was, I knew I wouldn't get the ansers I was looking for, I knew it didn't really matter.

"Sure," he started the song over, and stepped slowly towards me. He seemed to hesitate, unsure, but then he lifted my arms around his neck, and gently placed his hands on my waist. His hands were still ice cold, I could feel them through my shirt, but I didn't mind. He looked into my eyes, he almost seemed afraid. Slowly we began to dance, and the world slipped away. Nothing else seemed to matter, none of the mystery, none of the questions. For once life seemed perfect. Our eyes were locked together as we danced.

"Are you scared?" he asked.

"No." I knew that I should be, like I had been when we first met. "I feel safe with you."

"I want to be with you Bella, but it isn't fair to you, there's so many things I want to be able to tell you, but I just can't."

"I don't care Edward, I don't care what it is, I want to be with you too." I held him tighter and I felt him stiffin.

"It's not that easy Bella," he stopped dancing now, even though the music still played in the background.

"Since when is anything easy?"

He ran his hand down my cheek, stopping under my chin, lifting my face closer to his. I felt his breath on my lips.

"It's harder than you think," I stood on tip toe and our lips touched. I breathed in his scent, ignoring how cold his lips felt, or how my body instantly warmed as my heart beat faster. I opened my mouth, and wrapped my arms tighter around his cold neck.

"I have to go," he pushed me away from him. My heart stopped.

"But you just got here," he smiled, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"You shouldn't hide behind your hair Bella," he kissed the top of my head. "Your roommates are coming back from dinner, I don't want to go, I have to. I'll see you tomorrow." He slipped out the door, leaving me to wonder if this had all been a dream.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning extra early. I took extra care putting on makeup, and drying my hair. I was still unhappy about how I looked. I hated the stupid uniforms. The butterflies in my stomach wouldn't go away, in fact they multiplied as it got closer to leave. By the time I was done getting ready I still had twenty minutes until we usually left. I decided my best bet was to just leave now, I was going to drive myself crazy if I sat around and waited here. I practically skipped on my way outside, a huge smile plastered on my face.

"Someone sure is in a good mood today."

"Edward!" I went to give him a hug, but stopped myself. I still wasn't quite sure where we stood. Instead he placed his hands on my face and leaned in for a kiss.

"So you ready for the field trip today?"

"I guess, it's better than sitting in class all day."

"If you could do anything today, what would it be?"

I gave him a confused look, "I don't know," I shrugged my shoulders.

But he persisted, "Seriously, what would you do?"

I thought about it, "Go to the zoo."

He laughed. "No, seriously."

"Really, I love the zoo."

He thought about this, "Alright, we can do that." he seemed to be talking to himself more than me.

"Um, I think you're kind of confused, we have a field trip."

"I know, but who said we have to attend?"

I went to protest again, but he held his hand up to stop me.

"Don't you trust me?" he gave a sly smile, eyes twinkling.

"Of course, but-"

"No 'buts'. We're going to the zoo." he took my hand and we began to walk towards campus. He started talking, rambling almost. "I never would've thought you as the zoo going type. I like it though. It's cute, like you. Believe it or not, I've never been to the zoo..." he continued to talk, and I tried to keep up with him. Didn't he get tired always walking so fast?

"Edward, slow down."

"I'm sorry, I forgot... " he shook his head.

"Where are we going anyways?"

"Back to the basement, there's a way out down there." he had slowed his pace, it was much easier to keep up with him now, though I still had to keep up. Once inside the storage room I was blinded again. I stood and waited by the door, waiting for him to pull out a flashlight or something so we could see.

"You coming, Bella?"

"How can I go anywhere Edward? I can't see a thing. How can you go anywhere?" he laughed.

"I can see perfectly fine, Bella."

I rolled my eyes, "Ya, right."

"I promise. You don't have to roll your eyes at me."

I gasped.

"Are you scared?"

i hesitated, then held up 3 fingers, "how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three," he didn't miss a beat.

"How..." I trailed off.

"Are you scared?" he asked again. I took a step backwards towards the door. Trying desperately to focus my eyes.

"How can you see anything?"

"I'm not like other people, Bella," he was closer to me now, his voice was louder. "I don't want to scare you, I would never hurt you." I knew what he said was true, but deep down I had that sickening feeling that I should be running. Just then a light flicked on, he stood only inches from me, flashlight in hand.

"How?" I looked in his eyes, he looked so frightened, though I couldn't understand why he should be the frightened one..

"I can't tell you. Not yet at least. Believe me when I say I want to more than anything, Bella. I want you to know the truth."

My head was swimming. What on earth could he possibly be hiding?

"Do you want to go back? I'll understand if you don't want to go anymore."

I thought about it, "No, I want to go still," It wasn't like I didn't have secrets hidden from him. I didn't want to be a hypocrite. Though I was sure his secrets were far more interesting, and the only way to find out for sure was to stick around.

"Can we use the flashlight at least? Some of us aren't lucky enough to have night vision." I playfully pushed his stone chest.

"Of course we can," I followed him down into the basement and past the table that we sat at the other day. Suddenly he stopped. We had come to a dead end.

"Are you lost? Maybe we should turn around?"

"So little confidence in me? We're not lost," he pointed his flash light up to show a large wooden storm door.

"Still want to do this?" he grabbed a broom and used the handle to push open the door, the room flooded with sun slight. A huge smile spread across my face.

"Let's go!" I looked around for a ladder or something.

"I'll lift you up." he put his hands tightly around my waist. " Count of three." Suddenly I was incredibly self conscience of my weight, but before I could argue he said 'three' and I no longer was standing in the basement, but on grass, surrounded by trees, with Edward standing next to me.

"How did you... oh never mind." it was pointless to ask. "So where do we go from here?"

"We walk,"

"All the way to the zoo?" I made a face.

"Do you even know where the zoo is, Bella?"

Now that he brought it up, I didn't. "No,"

He laughed, it's only three blocks away from here, I think you can make it." he took his hand and messed up my hair.

"Hey! No fair!" I stomped ahead, combing my hair out with my fingers.

"Ruban rose cicatrices ne jamais oublier," he read. I quickly let my hair fall back into place, covering the tattoo on my neck. "Pink ribbon scars that never forget." he translated. "I like it."

"Thanks," he came up next to me, falling into step.

"What does it mean?"

"Just lyrics from Smashing Pumpkins, their my favorite band." I hoped he would drop it.

"Why did you pick those lyrics?"

I tried to think of what to say, without revealing _my_ secrets. "They probably hold the most meaning to me."

"How come?" he looked at the ground while he was walking, his eye brows were crinkled, like he was frustrated with something.

"I guess I have a lot of scars, that I'll never forget."

"Mental or physical?"

This was getting to be too much, "What's up with the twenty questions?"

He looked over at me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, it's just that you're really hard for me to read."

"Oh," his golden eyes swept me away again. "It's okay, it's just weird to talk about, I don't usually talk about it with anyone ever, people think I'm a freak as it is."

He chuckled, "I really doubt anyone thinks you're a freak."

I rolled my eyes, "Ya, I bet they don't."

"Trust me Bella, no one thinks that."

"Well they would if they knew the truth, if they knew what I did to myself."

"What do you do?"

"Nothing anymore, but it's always going to be there, always going to follow me," I sighed. I knew I was going to tell him, whether it was now or later, somethings you couldn't hide, not when you felt this close to someone. The lies only work for those who don't really care.

"Bella, you aren't really making any sense."

"I'll understand, if you don't want to see me anymore..." I trailed off.

"Bella," Edward touched my face with the back of his hand, "I'm not going to leave you, Bella. Nothing you could say will scare me away."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep." I kept my eyes focused on his as I pulled up my left sleeve, revealing an intricate design of scars. His eyes slowly shifted from my eyes to my arm, then back to my eyes. He spoke softly,

"You did this?" I only nodded.

"But why? Why would you ever think you deserve this?"

"I never thought I deserved it! I never had a choice." Why did I fool myself into thinking he could understand? "It was the only I could do to survive. Everything would just boil inside me, and I had no way to get it out, this was the only thing that could make me feel better. It's like when you shake up a a bottle of soda, then slowly open it, it shots carbonation all over you. That's how it felt, like everything bad was flowing out of me. And only after that I could sit down and relax, I could think again. It gave me control, it made sense. I couldn't control my emotions, or even make sense of them half the time, but when I cut, _that _made sense, I could control that pain..."

"But you stopped?" he searched my eyes, trying to find truth.

"Ya," I started walking again, I had to get the nervous energy out. "A few months ago. My mother and I got in a fight, over something stupid. I took a new razor, and just, kind of, broke down. I cut myself really bad on the side of my stomach. I should've gotten stitches. It was the first time that I ever lost control that way. It really scared me. I did it _for _the control, and here I was, losing it again. So I stopped, I don't want to die, and it was the first time that I realized that's where I was going with it."

He walked next to me silently for a few minutes, then he spoke, "What do you do instead?"

"Nothing, I just kind of turned my emotions off, stopped caring. It's not like I don't want to though, I'm sure I always will. Once an addict always any addict.... so yo think I'm crazy right?"

"I don't think you're crazy, I promise," he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "You're only human." He gave me a huge smile, then wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe there, like nothing could ever hurt me again.

"Are we still going to the zoo?" I asked, I didn't want to keep talking about my messed up life.

"We're here," he pointed up to the sign we were standing under. He took my hand and we walked inside.

***

The day flew by. I thought it would've turned awkward, but it turned out perfect. He kept his arm around me gently kissing my neck when we stood and watched the exhibits. It was almost like nothing had been said at all.

He asked me questions all day, things that didn't seem to matter at all. We were standing by the elephant habitat when he asked, "What do you do in your free time?"

"I danced."

"Danced?"

"Ya, you know ballet."

"Really?" his mouth turned a smirk.

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

"It's just funny, the 'troubled teen' pirouetting around."

"Ha, ha." I stuck my tongue out at him. "I've been dancing for ten years. I actually wanted to go to Julliard. I was working on my audition before I got here."

"Wanted to go? You don't anymore?"

"It's kind of a lost dream now, with me being stuck here now."

"You could still do it you know,"

"Ya, right. I don't even have a place to practice. Or even my shoes." My mind wondered, imagining being able to dance again. We began to walk towards the entrance.

"Tell me about your parents, what are they like?"

"There isn't much to tell."

"Do you get along with them?"

"Not really. My dad is alright, he at least seems to care sometimes, but my mother is intolerable."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because it's true," I laughed under my breath. "She's very controlling; she gives me no credit at all. She thinks that all I can do is follow other people, that I can't make my own decision. Nothing ever makes her happy; she's mad no matter what I do. No matter how hard I try and please her, it was never good enough. She's very tiring to be around."

"Is she really that bad?"

"Worse," I shook my head. "Once I graduate, I'm never looking back. What about your parents?"

He smiled, "They are the most amazing people in my life. I don't know where I'd be without them. Carlisle and Esme, they're actually my adoptive parents; my birth parents died when I was young. There's Alice, my sister, and Emmet, my brother; they're both adopted too."

"Doesn't Alice go to school here too?"

"Yes, Emmet already graduated."

It crossed my mind that I didn't know what year he was in. "When do you graduate?"

"Next year."

I smiled, we'd have another year together. Minus summer, it was doubtful that we'd be close enough to see each other during vacation.

"Where do you live when you aren't at school?"

"With my parents, they live about five miles outside of town. Emmett and his wife, Rosalie, as well as Alice and her boyfriend Jasper, all live there."

My mouth dropped open. "You all live together? Isn't that a little... suffocating?"

He laughed, "Not at all, we are all very close. I doubt we'd have it any other way."

"Weird..." We walked in silence for until we reached the opening into the basement.

"Um... how are we suppose to get back down?" I tilted my body forward enough to see how far the drop was, easily twelve feet. Before I had time to straighted back up Edward had me craddled in his arms.

"You ready?" A devilish smile spread across his face. When I realized he planned to jump, I started squirming to get out of his arms.

"Put me down! Edward! Put me down!" he barely moved, as I stuggled with all my might to get out of his embrace.

"Bella, I won't let anything happen to you, now calm down and hold on."

"Edward, you're going to get us both killed if you jump!"

"If you're scared close your eyes."

I could tell I was stuck, there was no way I was going to escape his iron grip on me. I conceded, burying my head into his neck, and tightly wrapping my arms around is broad cold shoulders.

"Alright, Edward, get it over with already." I refused to move my head when I spoke so my words came out all muffled.

"Open your eyes, Bella." he commanded.

"No way. Not until we are safely on the ground."

He chuckled, " We are on the ground."

"I meant the basement ground."

"We _are_ on the basement ground."

I slowly peaked out from behind his shoulder. Sure enough, we were in the basement. I hadn't even felt him jump. I loosened my grip and he carefully placed me back on my own two feet.

"So what are you? Some sort of illusionist? A magician?" He sighed and flicked on the flashlight and began walking.

"I thought it didn't matter to you?"

"It doesn't, but sometimes curiosity gets the better of me. What other tricks do you have hidden up your sleeve?"

He laughed, "What tricks do you seem to think I already posses?"

I thought about it, "Well you're unbelievably fast. And strong..." I trailed off.

"Those aren't really tricks, Bella."

"I guess not," I frowned. He was always making me more confused. We had reached the door, but when I went to open Edward stopped me.

"Wait!"

"Wh-why?"

"Mr. Galapsi is out there,"

"But how do you-" he interrupted me by putting his finger to my lips.

"But-"

"Shhh,"

I waited, glaring at him. I_ was_ going to get some answers this time. When he removed his finger I spoke, "So? Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what, Bella?" he pushed open the door and began to walk.

"How you knew he was out there," he was walking to fast again, I was sprinting to keep up with him.

"I told you, I heard him out there,"

"Edward!" I stopped walking, "How?"

He turned to face me, "Bella..."

I kept a straight face, I wasn't going to budge this time. He sighed, "Fine, Bella, I'll tell you; I can hear his thoughts, I can hear everyone's thoughts, are you happy now?"

"You've got to be kidding me, you expect me to believe that?"

"I'm not lying, Bella," he searched my eyes.

"Fine, what am I thinking right now then?"

"That's the thing, I can read everyone's mind- but yours"

"Seriously, Edward, couldn't you have come up with something a little more believable? HOw stupid do you think I am?"

"I don't think you're stupid, Bella," he tucked my hair behind my ear. I hated when he did that, it made me want to forgive him. "I think you're one of the smartest, most amazing, woman I've ever met."

"Then why lie?" I was begining to crack, why did he have this power over me?

"I didn't," he sighed "I'll prove it to you," he took my hand and led me, much to quickly, to my last class. Once in front of the door, he leaned over and kissed me. I wasn't expecting it, my breath caught in my throat. I quickly regained my composure so I could kiss back, but he pulled away before I finished.

"I'm not going to be on campus tonight, I'm meeting my family for dinner, will you keep your promise, to not go out alone?"

"Sure," I nodded, my head still in the clouds.

"Good," a huge smile spread across his face, "Jessica is going to ask you if we're sleeping together, the Newton boy, Mike, he's going to tell you that you should stay away from me. Angela, she's still debating. She's curious about when we made up, but she doesn't want to pry either."

I looked into the classroom, everyone was starring at us. I let my hair fall over my face, trying to hide my bright red cheeks.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, don't forget your promise," he kissed the top of my head good-bye, leaving me to face my interrogation.


End file.
